“…Age follows youth, so death follows age. Whoever doesn’t want to die, doesn’t want to live.”
Seneca, How to Die
Death is a morbid thing to think about. It is almost taboo to bring it up. I don’t like to and I doubt many others do. However, I believe keeping it in front of mind, allows us to live our lives better than if we felt we had an endless supply of days.
I read this sentence this morning, highlighted it, and continued reading. As I began to write in my journal, I jotted it down to think over what it meant. At the time I marked it I didn’t understand it, but I knew there was something there to think about. He goes on to say that it is madness to fear death as fear is for things of uncertainty. And well, death is certainly going to happen to each of us.
I wanted to write this to try and understand. As I broke it down it started to become clearer. If old age follows being young then old age is followed by your demise. But you can’t get there without living through youth and old age (minus an unfortunate accident or sickness). Death is part of life, it is inevitable. If you don’t want to die, then you can’t live. I am still grappling with what this means for me or even Seneca’s intent. But there is no escape. It is only a question of whether it is today or in 10 years. You accept it by living.
Death comes for All
I will die someday, there is a good chance that my life is half over.
That is a scary thought, I feel the fear discussed above.
How does that change how I am going to live today?
But it isn’t just me that is going to die someday. My wife, our daughter too will one day die. How does that change how I interact with them today?
How does all this change my priorities for the day?
What is really important beyond relationships and basic necessities?
A while back I sat at the outdoor table I’ve sat at hundreds of times with my father-in-law. Sitting there just as I would have if he was there with my cognac and coffee. In my chair on the corner of the deck. Across from me, his chair, empty. I jotted this down as I looked at his chair:
“Someday I will no longer be here sitting here.
Just as you are no longer sitting here with me.”
Losing him was a sobering reminder that these moments do not last forever. The people in our lives do not last forever and I certainly do not either.
It was also a reminder that by keeping death at the forefront of my mind that it enabled me to live a better life. To hopefully treat people with more kindness, bring more presence into my life.